||[Jul. 23rd, 2008|04:42 pm]
Just a few things about me that are currently defining my every actions at the moment:|
I am growing up, thats for damn sure. I realized that Ive already become cynical and pessimistic about life and the government and all that bullshit. Of course, it makes me so depressed to think that at a time when i'm supposed to be idealistic, i've instead skipped over that and just got angry. Not anymore! My friends, I have a confession to make. I am in love with Barrack Obama. And not because he's the college students' choice, or because he's good looking, or because he has the support of The Roots. No, I'm in love with him because I feel like he really can change the political environment of this country. I think he's honest. I think he's a good person. I think he is exactly the person we need right now. I think he is going to win, and when he does, I think he'll actually have the balls to address problems in this country that people don't even think of as issues to form a platform on. Racism? The elimination of the middle class? These are diseases seeping into every aspect of our American existence. We can put band aids on situations as long as we want. Band aids that don't get to the root, but instead end up alienating certain demographic groups all for the sake of somewhat correcting inherent inequality. I think he will stand up to say what the problems are, and even though a president can only do so much to change the racism and class deterioration in America, a president is also supposed to be our figurehead, our beacon of hope and virtue. It has been forgotten, since the past few years we've been under a tyrannical rule under the guise of a democracy and before that we had a "buddy" in the white house who impressed those who were discriminated against and then left them to fend for themselves once he reached office. Not to mention Reagan, who was so damn happy about being a corrupt person that people eventually just followed him to his "happy place." It's been awhile since a president has seemed suitable to take the influence he had and actually made a movement happen. I think Obama can be our figurehead. The person who stands up and says "these are the issues." And you know what? Talking about it is enough. Because the more people talk about it, the more they will eventually have to think about it, the more they will find solutions within their own grasp. If every person just examined their own life, their own wants and needs, and those of their community, it is possible that the bigger picture will be formed and soon everyone can help mend the wounds of this nation. I'm supporting Obama after months of grumbling that he's too "new," that he's too much a "token." I finally allowed myself to believe the things he was saying and have hope. So, as everyone knows, I'm a political person, and this may be the most important election in my lifetime. I am supporting Barrack Obama 100%. Basically, this is just a way for me to apologize ahead of time when I start passionately discussing Obama the way I normally discuss America's Next Top Model. You have been warned.
Also, I don't know what's happening with Waleed. I don't know what the right thing to do is. I don't know what's easier or harder, what's healthy or hurtful or sane. I'm at basically as confused as all of you. I do know that I love him, and for right now, that's all I'm going on. The past few months have been hard, the next few months will be hard, but I have to believe that if I wait, I will get a definitive answer about what I should do. So, while I know it's confusing when I call him my boyfriend one minute and then talk about him dumping me the next, I'm just asking everyone to bear with me, and keep opinions to yourself unless I specifically ask for them. Not that anyone is out there pissing me off or anything, I just don't want any more input for now. It's bad enough that he's pissed off some of my friends and that my uncles thing he's gay and self hating and using me as a beard, I don't need any more reasons to break up with him completely, trust me. But I also don't need any more reasons to stay with him through this, because eventually it will get better. And then, when he's taken care of his family problems and become normal and we start dating like we used to, I'll eventually get to know him in the ways I missed out on before and then dump him for something small, like him never cleaning up after himself. Then I will need you guys to be there to take me out drinking and refraining from saying "I told you so" and finding me a new man. Until then, just ignore my crazy ramblings.
Including this post...?